Nigra sum sed formosa. I am black but beautiful. I am not religious, but I will borrow from the Song of Songs.Ok, I am no Madonna either, but I am black and beautiful and I want to be black and beautiful in the virtual world too.
I may also be different from some avatars who like to change skins as often as they change clothes. I just want to have one skin and some makeup that goes nicely with it, just like in real life. Growing up in America during the civil rights era, skin color for me has always been a hot button issue. As an African American woman behind this avatar, I want my skin reflect some version of my real life skin.(The part without the cellulite.) In SL , I was unhappy with the way I looked for almost a year. I searched and searched and spent thousands to find a skin that would look acceptable. I still wear that skin today when I visit. I may change that soon having discovered something closer to my real life self.
I have been in Inworldz for 400 days, as of today and I am still waiting for my skin. (I have been promised, so my wait might not be much longer!) I want my skin to be brown, not tanned, not bronze, but brown and well blended. It is not a flat brown, but rather full of life brown. and I want it to look like I have African heritage. That isn't asking too much. Below are some of the skins I have tried on, some I have even worn for a while.
Join me as I look back at the skins I have tried in Inworldz......( I will spare you the Ruth look, I see her all to often.)
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| [GJCR] Free Skin |
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| [GRCR] FREE SKIN |
Kind of pretty, but way too pale. A far cry better than Ruth, but not at all me. Something I picked up on day one , December, 19th 2009.. I really didn't wear it for more than a day. She just wasn't me.
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| VALIN (INNY QUINNELL) |
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| VALIN (INNY QUINNELL) |
Interesting, but again too pale Also picked up in the very beginning.Dec '09
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| NEWBIE CENTER- DARKEST BRONZE (RAVEN CALLISTO) |
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| NEWBIE CENTER- DARKEST BRONZE (RAVEN CALLISTO) |
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| BEBE- VERSION 1 |
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| BEBE-VERSION 1 |
Out of desperation , I tried to make my own skin. This version failed. As you can see the blending in the stomach region is horrible and the whole tone leans to the greenish side. A rich brown is not a very easy color to blend . Lasted about a week or two.
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| BEBE VERSION 2 |
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| BEBE VERSION 2 |
In this failed version, I over corrected and the whole thing went orange. I don't know what happened with the lips. The stomach area got a bit better I think, but still not at all wearable for me.She looked like she could be related to the Joker.
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| EPIDERMIS EMPORIUM- CONNIE |
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| EPIDERMIS EMPORIUM- CONNIE |
This one looked promising in the pictures, but when tried on was not at all me either. And while the face was a pretty brown, the color from the neck down did not match for me. Overall, the detail and shading were OK, the color from the neck down just wasn't right. Great work on the cleavage though!
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| PULSE -AIMEE |
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| PULSE -AIMEE |
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| PULSE - NOLA MONIQUE |
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| PULSE - NOLA MONIQUE |
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| BEBE VERSION 3 |
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| BEBE VERSION 3 |
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| KIKO LIFE DIGITAL COSMETICS- WALNUT NEUTRAL |
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| KIKO LIFE DIGITAL COSMETICS- WALNUT NEUTRAL |
My friend from SL, Osuntomi Melendez makes and sells skins under the name of Kikolife Digital Cosmetics After much daily begging in Skype, Tomi was kind enough to bring me a sample of one of her skins. While this skin is not exactly what I want, it is the most realistic tone and best looking in terms of blending. She looks pretty! I feel happy and like myself while wearing it. Eventually, Tomi will bring her line of avatar skins and cosmetics to Inworldz so that we can all have a broader range of skin tones, including coices of ethnic ones. Tomi understands what I want, because she wants it too. I want to look like an avatar with African heritage, not a brown colored European one.
I understand that I am in the minority, both ethnically and in my way of thinking but it doesn't make me want my skin any less. Put yourself in my shoes. Imagine that when you went shopping for a pale skin and all you could find was dark ethnic skins and pale skins you found unacceptable.. Sure ...some might look nice , some even very pretty, but they are not what you want, and lots of folks tell you that you should be happy because you have some choices.
You may not agree with me and that's OK. I took time to mention it because it is important to me for the same reason that I make sure my daughter has some dolls to play with that look like her. I'm sure there are others out there in virtual worlds who are not comfortable in the skin they are in and suffer in silence because they have few choices. Granted this isn't important like global terrorism, homelessless, world hunger etc...It is just something that affects my enjoyment of the virtual experience. Perhaps, if more people are aware of the issue , there could be more real choices for everyone. My search for a skin has been a journey lasting 400 days in Inworldz, and I hope I reach my destination there soon. As for the other worlds that I visit, I am not holding my breath.
Shape: Bebe Mahogany
Lingerie: Bebe Mahogany
Hair: Myst by EMO-tions ( modified by Bebe Mahogany)
Unretouched Photos: Bebe Mahogany
Great post! And I hear you. I'm a natural redhead and we have an awkward kind of pale skin that's apparently hard to create in virtual worlds because to date I haven't found one that was me. I did find a skin I love but still it's not the real me. Most pale skins either make you look like a vampire, a geisha or well, it just isn't pale at all.
ReplyDeleteBasically though, there is too little ethnic variety in virtual worlds and especially, there are too little black skins. Most I've seen (not many) looked just wrong or not quite right.
But I hope you'll find the perfect skin that makes you look comfortable!
uhm...I meant to say I hope you find the perfect skin that makes you feel comfortable. It's early here and I haven't had enough coffee XD
ReplyDeleteI know where you are coming from Leanna. Thanks for commenting. I think the subject makes folks uncomfortable in many ways. We just have to bring it out in the open and try to deal with it. Then there can be changes and choices for everyone. Some designers are up for the challenge. Good luck in your search too!
ReplyDeleteOoh I hope you find something that is a complete fit. I run rather pale but in the beginning, those were hard to find. Like Leanna, it was either gothic or not pale enough. Luckily those choices became a bit more abundant, so I hope they do for you too.
ReplyDeleteNow I can see though why the darker skin tones are hard. Pale is pale and we usually make do...but dark can just go so horribly wrong and much of it may depend on graphics, etc too.
I wish you much luck in finding that one perfect skin that you adore and love.
I know how much effort u have put into this project and I admire your energy! But i understand. Its important to feel "at home" in your skin. No fun otherwise. If I dont find a skin I like id rather go as a tiny or something with fur.
ReplyDeleteIm happy with my skin from Paparazzi now. The skin base is without make up but you can buy layers with different make up. (Mera wears that, Vesper wears Paparazzi male or a skin from Mazzi).
I really hope you will find your dream skin soon! *hugs*
Good luck in your search. I have not gone the same route as I like a skin that is not realistic, but I have exactly the same feelings about my hair. I cannot find anything I like. I should however say that for the first year I was in Iwz, there was almost no choice of anything and that the shopping has improved amazingly. Let's hope, then, that as the grid matures more of the particularly personal needs we have will be met by those creative wizz kids out there...:))
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say, that the original sentence in the language it was written is: I AM BLACK AND COMELY. The "I am Black BUT comely" was a DELIBERATE mistranslation by racist white scholars who could not fathom that a BLACK woman could be so SELF POSSESSED as to assert herself this way, and be the object of adoration and the subject of The Song of Songs... check it out. The statement "I am Black BUT comely" is continuing to propagate this negative attitude towards Black women that has become the accepted way of thinking, and become institutionalised. Let's not do it... we are BLACK AND COMELY. If you think it doesn't effect you, you just need to look at the whitewashed metaverse for an answer...
ReplyDeleteI cannot speak intelligently about whitewashing and I am pretty sure that while in my entire 52 years on this planet I have never uttered the phrase "black but comely" but have seen in used by such authors as Robert E. Howard and Edgar Rice Burroughs and their writings could certainly border on sexist if not racists. i will comment on things that i do know: RUSH JOBS and RESPECT.
ReplyDeleteI am a colored pencil artist and i also dabble in watercolor and graphite. I am appalled at the poor quality work in blending that i see with a lot of these skins or worse taking skins and toning them to represent shades and the darker you get--OH LOOK, you made an ethnic. How insulting! If you are not thinking or not caring to think about how this groups looks, how their environment effects them , their genetic history, their strength of will then don't claim to make ethnic skins. You cannot possibly know or understand.
..and for god's sake--take some art course and if you have taken art courses, take them again until you get it right--from the big names downward--the avatar skin defines the person behind it--that is certainly the right of white player and it is more importantly the right of ethnic players and as vendors and creators it is YOUR responsibility to make them comfortable in their avatar body.
I journeyed with BEBE for three years on this quest and here is what i have learned: The greatest racist act is to take away or limit a persons right to self-definement.
'nuff said.