Friday, November 19, 2010

Princess of the Flies

I have been absent from virtual worlds for a bit now because I have been fighting what seems like a losing battle. I don't know when it started.with my daughter, but I guess it was bound to happen sometime. My daughter who is now 9 had started expressing dislike for certain foods, bananas in particular. This is unusual because ever since she came into our lives at the age of 6 months, she has loved food passionately! This is a child who loves Lima beans, sushi and Brussel sprouts and the one who asked me to serve broccoli and cauliflower at her 6th birthday party. Totally opposite from her brother who  lived on nutritional supplements and refused to eat for 5 years.
 I discovered on Tuesday  that I had a  fruit fly problem. I didn't think anything of it until late in the day when they seemed to be everywhere. I went a bit nuts swatting flies and looking for the source. They seemed to be hovering around the fruit basket and around the  kitchen food locker where canned good and baking supplies are kept. I checked the fruit and  that wasn't it, checked in the locker .... nope, nothing there. The more I moved, the more the flies went  buzzing about  EVERYWHERE!!!  EWW.  I knew at that moment, that the source had something to do with my kids. If you are at all squeamish, stop reading here. If you are a parent of bright and  hyperactive kids, read on, you will understand.

The flies seemed to be more concentrated near where my daughter sits for meals. I confronted her and she  acted like I  had 5 heads. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt  , as my late mom and Mark Twain used to say. I knew I was on to something.  Long story shorter now...... My darling wonderfully gifted and creative child as I shall call her, has not been eating all of her breakfast or lunch. Mornings have been tough for her and me too because she is now in an independent school 25 minute drive  instead of the local elementary school which is a 3 minute walk.  No rolling out of bed at 7:45 anymore. She is slow and unfocused and would rather read  and chat rather  than  eat and go to school. Don't get me wrong, she loves school, she is just not organizedWhile I am getting ready thinking she is finishing up her breakfast, she has been wrapping  up uneaten food in napkins and hiding them out of sight under  the buffet . This explains a lot, especially where all of my cloth napkins have gone. While this is a very creative idea, it  made me spend hours scrubbing and swatting and sacrificing my wine in effort to trap the bastards.
I suffer with severe seasonal allergies --- stuffed up nose  until the killing frost, so I am pretty much useless in the detecting scents department. I should have been a fruit fly... I would have easily found the rotting banana, rolled up  in my Battenberg lace napkin, looking very much like a corpse in a murder mystery movie. I would have also found the  bite sized shredded wheat nuggets, bundled up in 2 of my favorite napkins, still  moist from Monday's milk. And .... and..... all in all about a weeks worth of assorted tidbits from meals, all bundled up neatly in napkins. There is good news. All of these neat little bundles were in the pewter platters and bowls stored under  and not on the carpet. And the kitchen source? A quart sized plastic Chinese soup container,  with oatmeal and BANANAS! the mother lode!  I spent all day searching  for the buggers  and there they were, unbelievable. Just out of broom and mop range.   Exhausted, from dealing with the family and sending hundreds and hundreds of fruit flies to their death, I sat down and  managed to drink a fruit fly free glass or two of wine before falling asleep at the keyboard . Sigh
Day two...... Wednesday stay tuned.....

1 comment:

  1. LOL!!! I can so relate!!!
    "I should have been a fruit fly... I would have easily found the rotting banana, rolled up in my Battenberg lace napkin, looking very much like a corpse in a murder mystery movie."
    This made me laugh out loud and scare my dog. :)